Kurt Metzger DERP To Keep Kurp Off Surp Shirt

Size Guide

Size Chart

SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 18 in 28 in
M 20 in 29 in
L 22 in 30 in
XL 24 in 31 in
2XL 26 in 32 in
3XL 28 in 33 in
4XL 30 in 34 in
5XL 32 in 35 in
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 46 cm 71 cm
M 51 cm 74 cm
L 56 cm 76 cm
XL 61 cm 79 cm
2XL 66 cm 81 cm
3XL 71 cm 84 cm
4XL 76 cm 86 cm
5XL 81 cm 89 cm
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 17.25 in 25.5 in
M 19.25 in 26 in
L 21.25 in 27 in
XL 23.25 in 28 in
2XL 25.25 in 28.5 in
3XL 27.25 in 29 in
  • 100% preshrunk cotton; Ash Grey 99% cotton, 1% polyester
  • Feminine 1/2 inch rib mid scoop neck; sideseamed with slightly tapered Missy fit
  • Double-needle stitching throughout; seamless rib at neck
  • Decoration Type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 43.8 cm 64.8 cm
M 48.9 cm 66 cm
L 54 cm 68.6 cm
XL 59 cm 71 cm
2XL 64 cm 71.8 cm
3XL 69.2 cm 73.7 cm
  • 100% preshrunk cotton; Ash Grey 99% cotton, 1% polyester
  • Feminine 1/2 inch rib mid scoop neck; sideseamed with slightly tapered Missy fit
  • Double-needle stitching throughout; seamless rib at neck
  • Decoration Type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 20 in 26 in
M 22 in 27 in
L 24 in 28 in
XL 26 in 29 in
2XL 28 in 30 in
3XL 30 in 31 in
4XL 32 in 32 in
5XL 34 in 33 in
  • 8 oz; 55% cotton/45% polyester
  • Air jet yarn for a softer feel and no pilling
  • 1x1 athletic rib cuffs and waistband with spandex; Double-needle stitching
  • Care: Machine wash cold; Tumble dry low
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 50.8 cm 66 cm
M 55.9 cm 74 cm
L 68.6 cm 71 cm
XL 66 cm 73.7 cm
2XL 71 cm 76 cm
3XL 76.2 cm 78.7 cm
4XL 81.3 cm 81.3 cm
5XL 86.4 cm 83.8 cm
  • 8 oz; 55% cotton/45% polyester
  • Air jet yarn for a softer feel and no pilling
  • 1x1 athletic rib cuffs and waistband with spandex; Double-needle stitching
  • Care: Machine wash cold; Tumble dry low
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 20 in 26 in
M 22 in 27 in
L 24 in 28 in
XL 26 in 29 in
2XL 28 in 30 in
3XL 29 in 32 in
4XL 32 in 33 in
5XL 34 in 34 in
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 50.8 cm 66 cm
M 55.9 cm 74 cm
L 68.6 cm 71 cm
XL 66 cm 73.7 cm
2XL 71 cm 76 cm
3XL 73.7 cm 81.3 cm
4XL 81.3 cm 83.8 cm
5XL 86.4 cm 86.4 cm
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 18 in 28 in
M 20 in 29 in
L 22 in 30 in
XL 24 in 31 in
2XL 26 in 32 in
3XL 28 in 33 in
4XL 30 in 34 in
5XL 32 in 35 in
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 46 cm 71 cm
M 51 cm 74 cm
L 56 cm 76 cm
XL 61 cm 79 cm
2XL 66 cm 81 cm
3XL 71 cm 84 cm
4XL 76 cm 86 cm
5XL 81 cm 89 cm
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
YXS 16 in 20.5 in
YS 17 in 22 in
YM 18 in 23.5 in
YL 19 in 25 in
YXL 20 in 26.5 in
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
YXS 40.6 cm 52 cm
YS 43.2 cm 55.9 cm
YM 45.7 cm 59.7 cm
YL 48.6 cm 63.5 cm
YXL 50.8 cm 67.3 cm
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
XS 16 in 27 in
S 18 in 28 in
M 20 in 29 in
L 22 in 30 in
XL 24 in 31 in
2XL 26 in 32 in
3XL 28 in 33 in
 
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
XS 40.6 cm 68.6 cm
S 45.7 cm 71 cm
M 50.8 cm 73.6 cm
L 55.9 cm 76.2 cm
XL 61 cm 78.7 cm
2XL 71 cm 83.8 cm
3XL 81.3 cm 81.3 cm
 
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
XS 14 in 27 in
S 15 in 27.5 in
M 16 in 28 in
L 17 in 28.5 in
XL 18 in 29 in
2XL 19 in 29.5 in
 
  • 4 oz, 60% combed ring-spun cotton/40% polyester jersey
  • 30 singles
  • Fabric laundered for reduced shrinkage; Runs small, we suggest ordering up
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
XS 35.6 cm 68.6 cm
S 38 cm 69.8 cm
M 40.6 cm 71.1 cm
L 43.2 cm 72.4 cm
XL 45.7 cm 73.7 cm
2XL 48.3 cm 74.9 cm
 
  • 4 oz, 60% combed ring-spun cotton/40% polyester jersey
  • 30 singles
  • Fabric laundered for reduced shrinkage; Runs small, we suggest ordering up
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
YS 14 in 17 in
YM 16 in 19.5 in
YL 18.75 in 23 in
YXL 20.5 in 24.5 in
  • 7.75-ounce, 50% cotton, 50% polyester
  • No drawcord on kids' hoodies
  • We suggest ordering one or two sizes up for a fuller fit; Please refer to size chart for actual garment measurements
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
YS 35.5 cm 43.2 cm
YM 40.6 cm 49.5 cm
YL 47.6 cm 58.4 cm
YXL 52.1 cm 62.2 cm
  • 7.75-ounce, 50% cotton, 50% polyester
  • No drawcord on kids' hoodies
  • We suggest ordering one or two sizes up for a fuller fit; Please refer to size chart for actual garment measurements
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
Both side ($5.95)
Clear selection
  • $0.00
Quantity:
Estimated arrival: Place your order today (standard shipping method) to receive the product(s) within Jan 20 - Jan 23

🎄 Christmas Cutoff: Order by Dec 10th to receive before Christmas. 🎁

Jan 10

Jan 13 - Jan 15

Jan 20 - Jan 23

SKU: IOGNLUL2 Categories: , , Tag:

Embrace the chaotic humor of comedy legend Kurt Metzger with the DERP To Keep Kurp Off Surp Shirt. This shirt captures the inside-joke energy and “unhinged” comedic style that fans of the Kurt Metzger Can’t Win podcast and his stand-up specials know and love.

Kurt Metzger DERP To Keep Kurp Off Surp Shirt – The Ultimate Fan Flex

Celebrate the nonsensical brilliance of Kurt Metzger with this exclusive graphic tee. More than just a piece of apparel, the Shop the Kurt Metzger DERP To Keep Kurp Off Surp Shirt! High-quality comedy merch for fans of Kurt Metzger. Available in tees, hoodies, and more. is a badge of honor for the “real ones” who follow Kurt’s unique brand of social commentary and absurdist humor.

Designed for fans who appreciate the weird, the bold, and the unapologetically funny, this shirt features the iconic “D.E.R.P.” branding in a striking red brush font, paired with the cryptic mission statement: “To Keep Kurp Off Surp!” Whether you’re heading to a live show at The Stand or just want to confuse people at the grocery store, this shirt is the ultimate conversation starter.

Kurt Metzger DERP To Keep Kurp Off Surp Shirt

Why This Shirt is a Must-Have:

The “DERP” and “Kurp Off Surp” slogans have become viral staples within Kurt’s community, representing a middle finger to the mainstream and a nod to the dedicated listeners who “get it.” It’s a cultural timestamp of independent comedy in 2026, blending DIY aesthetics with high-impact street style.

Product Specifications:
Classic T-Shirt (G500): 100% cotton (90% cotton/10% polyester for Sport Grey) for a heavy, durable feel.

Premium Soft T-Shirt (NL3600): A lightweight, 100% combed ringspun cotton blend for a high-end, vintage feel.

Pullover Hoodie (G185): Heavyweight 50/50 cotton-poly blend with a pill-resistant finish.

Crewneck Sweatshirt (G180): Classic fit with spandex-ribbed cuffs and waistband for maximum comfort.

Long Sleeve T-Shirt (G240): 100% preshrunk cotton—perfect for layering during those late-night comedy club sets.

Jersey Tank (3480): 100% combed and ringspun cotton for a breathable, athletic fit.

Ladies T-Shirt: Specially contoured for a feminine fit; 100% preshrunk cotton.

 

Please ensure that all personal and delivery information is entered accurately, as incomplete submissions may cause delays or unsuccessful delivery. We only ship to verified street addresses.

Zerelam partners with trusted logistics providers, including UPS, USPS, DHL, and YunExpress, to ensure reliable and efficient delivery.

SHIPPING POLICY

WHAT ARE THE SHIPPING COSTS?

Domestic shipping within the United States is set at $5.99 USD.
International shipping begins at $13 USD

WHERE DO WE SHIP?

We proudly ship worldwide, extending our services to customers across the globe.

Shipping time

US Regions:

Item Handling time (Mon-Fri) Shipping time ( Mon-Fri )
Apparel 1-3 days 3 -7 days
Mug 2-3 days 3-7 days
Poster, Canvas 1-3 days 3 -7 days
Hats 2-3 days 6-8 days
Bedding 3-5 days 7-10 days
3D Clothing, Hawaiian shirt… 3-5 days 8-12 days

Other Countries:

Handling time (Mon-Fri): 3-5 days

Shipping time ( Mon-Fri ): 15-25 days.

Note: Delivery times may vary due to holidays, destination, or courier delays.

Delivered

Total delivery time = Handling time + Shipping time

While we provide estimated delivery timelines, please be aware that unforeseen delays beyond our control may occur. These may include factors such as courier logistics, customs inspections, weather conditions, national holidays, or incomplete delivery details. We recommend allowing additional time when planning deliveries close to specific deadlines. We continuously strives to ensure prompt and secure delivery, yet cannot be held liable for delays caused by third-party or external circumstances.

If you experience any issues with your order or need assistance with modifications, please contact us at [email protected]. Our support team is always ready to help and ensure your satisfaction.

Regarding shipments with multiple addresses, we regret to inform you that our system currently does not support this feature. Should you wish to send items to separate destinations, please place individual orders for each address.

For PO Boxes and Military APO/FPO addresses, shipping is available and supported through our delivery partners.

Concerning international orders, please note that all shipments from the United States are processed DDU (Delivered Duty Unpaid). We does not collect VAT or import duties during checkout. Any applicable customs fees, VAT, or import duties are the responsibility of the recipient upon the package’s arrival. We encourage customers to check with their local customs authorities for guidance on applicable duties or tax policies in your region.